December 12, 2014
For the past few days, I always find myself waking up around 4am. I don’t know why but it always happens. I remember some friends who were doing meditation (I am part of the WCCM here in the Philippines) that they would meditate during this hour. They said that there is something about this time. I told myself it might be the silence during this time of the day where most people in the city are still asleep. Some of them would look out from their windows and see the beautiful sky outside. On my case, I just don’t know why I would wake up during that time.
Last night I arrived home around 11;30 in the evening. I came from our office in Ortigas and I went straight to Benpres Building for the meditation session. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who just wanted to be silent and be connected to the source. The group is ecumenical so faith and religion is not an issue. Everyone respects everybody but come together to meditate. We are reminded by Argel (the leader of the group) to be faithful to the practice of meditation. We are encouraged to meditate in the morning and in the evening. Before leaving the group, I told myself I will try do it everyday.
And then opportunity came this morning. I woke up around 4am. I tried to go back to sleep because it is still early but I can’t. Then, I remember to meditate. I set my alarm for 20 mins. I will do the laying meditation (there’s a lot of way of doing meditation). As always, the first few minutes my mind is going wild with the things I have to do today. There even come to a point when I asked myself why the alarm is not ringing. I might set it wrongly. Then, I remember the reading we had last night from the teaching of John Main. When distractions came, just IGNORE them. That’s what I did, I ignore the distractions without punishing myself for having them. When I am distracted, all I have to do is to go back in saying the mantra. After 20 minutes, my senses are wide awake. I am energized. I am excited to start my day. This are fruits are some fruits of meditation but I don’t meditate to receive these kinds of rewards. I just want to spend some time connecting to God. Allowing Him to speak to me through the silence.
After meditating, I get my Bible and my Daily Bible Reading Book. I looked up for the Bible Readings for today. I am blessed by this line taken in the Gospel for today.
And Mary said: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior.”
I’ve been struggling for the past few weeks and recently I realized the reason why I am so depressed. I forgot to rejoice in God. I forgot to be grateful to all the blessings He unselfishly shower upon me. I forgot to have a grateful heart despite of what is happening in my life. I forgot to trust in Him. I am so blessed to have friends who reminded me of God’s love. Through them I know that whatever mistake I might have done, whatever bad decision I might have, He still loves me. Mother Mary is a true symbol of God’s faithful servant. In this regard, I always find consolation every time I pray the rosary because I know Mother Mary is with me, interceding for me.
Then, by five in the morning, I decided to jog at Marikina Sports Center. At first, I felt some resistance inside of me. There is a small voice telling me what’s the point of going out early just to jog. Good thing I didn’t listen to that voice, by 6 in morning I am jogging in the oval of Marikina Sports Center looking at the clear sky, breathing the cool wind. I even saw the sun rising this morning. What a gift.
By 7am, I arrived home. While waiting for the breakfast that my mom is preparing I watched my favorite Asean Novela Queen Seon Deok. The Tagalog Version of it is being shown in Channel 12 of Signal Cable. Though I was able to watched it before (like years ago) I still find myself interested in watching it. Aside from my fascination with Kings and Queens and how their dress are delicately made, I am learning a lot from this kind of show.
After eating breakfast, fried rice with daing and fried eggplant, I went home to have a refreshing shower. By 9am, I am ready to start doing my work. I am fortunate to have a job that doesn’t require me to go to the office. I can work at the comfort of my home.
I love having my freedom of time. I can do what I love to do while earning. Gifts are really everywhere, all I have to do is to look and receive them.